laNUn??

we stopped by at mamaks just now before heading home.pekena char kuew teow.we had a little chat while layan pirates of the carribean 3 kat tv. then, my standard 5 sis asked this one question to us (me and my brother)...

sis : lanun tu ape ek??
bro: lanun tu perompak la..tapi dia rompak di lautan..
sis : abistu dia rompak ikan ker??
bro/bb: hah??..(looked at each other)waakkakakakkaakkaka..
.........(gelak lagi).......................................
bb: lanun tu perompak kat lautan...dia rompak kapal2 kat laut...emas ker,duit ker...n kadang2 dia rompak org punya ikan jugakk...(aku menerangkan)

An aRTist ...

my small brother came into my room and out of a blue,he said that he wanted to draw a house for our cat,'bomon' ..fine with me...

2 minutes later he passed the drawing he did on a piece of yellow paper to me....

the drawing above was by my brother entitled 'bomon dengan rumahnya'. hmm...quite an "artist"....wahahahahahhahhaha...i burst out in laughter..like crazily...giler punyer gelakkk..and went all over the house showing this drawing of him.wakkakakakakka...

p/s: he said he wants to be a professor one day instead of an architect..dier kater laaa...

aM I reaLLy tHAT bad??

This piece of paper was slipped under my door...hmmm...am i really that bad???is it that obviousssss???muahhahahah

p/s: well, i dont care. to je' and ayum, kalo takde kak nya yg penggedik n jahat ini, takdela korang dapat pergi sunway lagoon dan makan bigmac..banyak mulut plakk...

HAihh...

Semester break has almost come to an end. so, i accompanied my sister to alamanda to buy her stuffs to make sure that she will remains alive while cracking her head for the sake of getting a bloody degree transcript called scroll at the end of day..muahahhaha..thank god, ive passed that one..

The best part was, we were given a credit card for the spending..muahahhahah...definitely not ours, however we have no problem at all in imitating the signature.we were good at it actually and we have done it so many time without getting our asses caught..hee..(caution!!this one is totally under parent's permission)

Since i was just as a companion, i shall not waste away the opportunity of buying things without spending my own money..wahauhauha..so, while my sis was busying in picking up her stuffs, i have also executed the plan of picking my stuffs too, so for tonight i have selected a couple of t-shirts and a badminton recquet. i would want to add on some unnecessary things, but ive come to my sense that i dont actually need all those and why waste (aku sangat poyooooo).

So, with all that we spent about rm245 for only both of our stuffs which almost equal to our 4 weeks groceries shopping for 8 members of the house. of course la mine was not as much as my sis. and for the groceries,yes it was not much...we only eat one time a day at home as we were home only at nite and sometimes that one time we dont even cook.

Eversince i have got to keep my own money (scholarship), rm1500 per month, i found myself tend to spend on things that i want rather on things that i need. im not bragging that i got so much money to spend. maybe im just lucky becoz i dont have to spend monthly for a house/hostel rent or a car as im staying at my parents house in putrajaya and it only takes 15 mins to reach upm. since ive got my liscence this year, i can just use my parent's car. the only thing i need to spend, is on my foods and my insurance deducted directly from my account.

Or im just having what people used to say a "culture shock". looking at those day during my undergraduate time, i hardly have any money to spend on things im wanting now. i only managed to get half of my PTPTN loan (yer saya bodo..dahla tak dpt scholarship tak pandai tipu plak tuh) while UPM fees was way too expensive. so, per semester, i only got rm1700, while the fees was rm 1400 if im not mistaken, including the hostel. so, only rm300 left in my hand for another 6 months to live with and its just not my way to ask for money from my parents unless i was f**king suffocated with desperation.

So, at that time, i was like..."ko tunggula aku ade duit sendiri...tunggula...siap ko" everytime i dont get to buy things i want. to lessen the whimpering of my desire, i went out and did window shopping seldomly and sometimes none. but the good thing is, ive learned the value of money eventhough it just only a cent.

Well i guess the time has come, im sort of paying my revenge to all the hardship i went through. i even become greedy by wanting to get a good pay job so that i could spend more and more. which i realized it just a temporarily satisfaction i got hook with , but once i own it, i may turn my head to something else so called wont-last-long need again.

However, it does feels good having to buy something that you long for all this while...and lets wait till i get bored with this kind of lifestyle and start to seek for something that long last satisfaction of mine.

KuTu KUcINg....

"bomon", which is our beloved cat entered the room where it happened to be our 'diskusi' session of the night. so, one of the topic discussed tonight was about cat.

bro : ko tau makcik bela banyak kucing kan??
we : ha ah
bro :tapi, KUCING KUTU NYER banyakkkk gilerr (excited)
we : hah??? (blurr)
bro : KUTU PUNYER KUCING banyakk (trying to rephrase)
we : wakakkakakaka...weh, KUCING PUNYER KUTU daaaaa
bro : wakakakakkakakakka

(we=me and my 3 sis)

BahaSa MelayU...

me and my sis were relaxing our bloody asses in front of the tv this evening. we were watching hindustan movie starring amitabh bachan, salman khan and rani mukherji. the movie was not so bad..it was ok la. though i was like complaining like..."oo, its suppose to be like this..like that".."he/she shouldnt do that"..and "poyo"..as if i was so into the hindustan movies...muahahhaha..what can i say..criticsme is in my blood...muhahhahha..

well, that is actually not the main point here. so while watching, so u know, tv3 is always known for its "longgggggggg nak mamposss" commercial break. so, i changed to another channel, tv1. a malay drama, which i hardly have interest in watching. during that 30 seconds glimpse before i intended to switch channel again, i saw a boy, a school boy being a librian. the scene was taken in a school library and of course with all the pupils buzy picking books and trying to read some...its library duh!!

suddenly i uttered to my sis, that how i long to be a librian.

bb : aku teringin sangat nak jadik "perpustakawan"..
sis : wei..tolongla..tak boleh blah la..."pustakawan" la..
bb : hah??...wakakkakakakakka
sis : giler teruk bahasa melayu

so, my bm turned out to be a disaster. i practically speak bm everyday, (mostly broken bm).but smetimes and somehow, i keep on thinking,where did all my "perfect bm" gone?? and where does all the "broken bm" came from??

examples

1) kenapa?? = aperhal??
2) sila pergi = boleblah
3) adakah anda tidak menghargai nyawa anda?? = wei, nak mamposs ker??
4) saya suka muzik = aku layan muzik
5) baiklah = yerla dowh
6) sangat besar = giler besar

bm subject was one of the toughest subject during my form 5. the tricky questions and the answers seemed so close to be choosed out. but i managed to get ace of it.

haih, it just a waste to let it fade away just like that, coz i can hardly get it back
again...nak suroh aku blajo balik...harammmm

p/s: im sucks at bm, what more an englishhh...aahh

HUNgRinESS...

i got home just about half past 7 and frantically went to the kitchen as i was craving for foods. and yes i was f**king hungry as if i would swallow everything that might come across me. (i skipped my lunch, that is why). i saw my sister stood there in the kitchen with light off, doing what i was not sure. i was like

"lapor..lapor...lapor giler...nak makan!!!"

i opened the freezer, but none of my interests were there. checked under the "tudung saji"..there was a yesterday "pulut kuning" but 'basi' already.shit!!.

"ko tak masak ker??"

as i saw her about to steam up the 'nasik minyak n lauk pauknyer' on the stove. juz to let u know the storyline where the nasik minyak come from..and mestila dari kenduri kawen..so ,actually we have been eating nasik minyak for a week since we got a wedding invitation for both side of my parents. same day pulak tuh..so, we brought back almost a pile of nasik minyak together with lauk-pauknyer. melantaklah ko..guess how is that could increase the cholesterol level in my blood...adehh

i dont think i could wait much longer for the food to be heat up.which then i discovered a loaf of gardenia bread and a dozen of eggs at the edge of the kitchen cabinet paralleled with the stove mentioned just now. Aha!! i was thinking that both gardenia bread and egg would at least lessen the hungriness that i encountered right now.

the sound of 'pop' aired as i sparked up the stove. put on the pan and a spoon of oil poured into the pan. cracked an egg and there goes my scrambled egg. that was before i realized that the kitchen was unlighted as i had difficulty in seeing my eggs inside the pan as it was a black based pan.

'apasal ko tak pasang lampu?' with my fingers plucking the switch on. but then i wondered,is she that stupid not to think off that..hmm..as for my frustration of hungriness has come to a perfection, the light was twinkling for every seconds and my eyes blinking more as it never were..adehhh..berpinar kepala aku...i switch it back off. luckily, the light from the outside and living hall were just enough to enlight the darkness in the kitchen..

hell with that. i got my scrambelled egg ready,yeahhh...hot and marvelous..put it on a bread slice, some soy ketchup.another bread slice on top..mamamia..and there it goes beautifully inside my impatience mouth, went trough my machinery teeth, chewing things into bits and undergone my craving stomach wimpering to be filled...ohhh...nikmatnyaaaa....

i performed my maghrib prayer and sat down for a while. started to feel sleepy and for one minute i found myself lying down on my mom's couch comfortably at the living hall. with not even half filled in my tummy, i slept peacefully with the thinking of how i should value food this onwards (i am so poyooo)......zzzzzzzzzz........

i woke up back at 11. 30pm and now is already 4am, im still yet not in bed. while others lama dah membuter..arghhhhhhh......so, this is just another topic that suddenly poped up in my mind as i was listening to the musics which i have listed on my previous post during my killing time ...muahhahahhaahha..adehh

p/s: im killing the time again...

LaYAn...

number of songs which makes me "layan" the most currently:

1)classical gas-vanessa mae
2)destiny-vanessa mae
3)situasi-bunkface
4)linger-the cranberries
5)woderful life-korean OST
6)mengemis kasih-the zikr
7) if i were a boy-beyonce
8)empty-click 5
9)my sassy girl chun hyang-haeng bok-korean OST

p/s: killing time....

bahana SITUASI by BUNKFACE

Diskriminasi menjatuhkan aku...
Reputasi kini menjadi bisu...
Dan aku, ku layu...
Disitu...

Mengharapkan sesuatu yang baru...
Itulah impian aku....


Dan bila kau menghilang...
Musnah la, musnah impian...
Tuk menggapai bintang...
Terangi hidup ku...
Ku mahu kau tahu....
Engkaulah, destinasiku....
Dalam ingatanku... oh oh oh...

Kerana diri ini tak daya lagi....
Menempuh hidup yang ku temui...
Dan aku, ku tunggu... oh oh oh...
Disitu...

Mengharapkan sesuatu yang baru...
Itulah impian aku....


p/s : im totally into this lyric

SOmeTiMes anD sOmehOW......

The dialogues written below were taken purposely to show that sometimes and somehow, everything we did, does not necessarily comes with a more-than-one word reasons to describe why we actually did those things. Again, sometimes and somehow we dont even have a reason for it...just that, it feels GOOD by doing it..though sometimes it sounds lame,so...what the heck!!! u maybe such a denial to somebody, but u aint got to fool urself..

kes 1
A: apasal ko suke menyakitkan hati orang hah????? (marah la nih)
B: sebab aku suker (suker adalah alasan yang sebenar)
A: oooo...

kes 2
A: apasal ko buat macam tu ek??
B: ha ah ek...ntah..kenaper ek aku buat camtu ek?? (ntah aderla alasan yg sebenar)
A: ooooo...ntah

p/s: i came across some people living with this category of reasons, and somehow i found it cool and applicable...muahhahahahha

StUckeD....??

Sometimes, when we have been too long in such an environment, atmosphere,and things whatsoever, we tend to get bored with and hoping that things would change. Have u ever been in this type of situation? I know everyone does. Some may prefer to juz get ur bloody ass out of that f**king routine of world while some may prefer to stay a little bit longer or even forever..some sorts of comfort zone. Not that the existing world or environment does not offers a good fortune for us, it just that...its too routine!!! and we are f**king lazy to make it as not-as-routine-as it should be,wishing for things to fall from the sky and change f**king everything so that our life could be more f**king interesting.

"how did i got stucked in this f**king situation??" im not regretting, far more putting the blame on others about this issue..yet im grateful for everything that had happened which made what i have become today. It just that i hate so much for not doing nothing yet f**king complaint about it,which exactly what im doing rite now and its *sucks..

im not expecting people to change or things would turn out as what i have planned for it to be perfect becoz i know that the world does not revolves around me. Well, at least ive done something where at the end of the day it would be something good to tell about. However, despites all the efforts done to get away from it, but still it is the place where i should belong, or fated to be, i guess it was meant for me.....after all...ALLAH knows everything...


p/s: i tend to talk craps especially when i dont get to "kick" people ...muahhahahaha

ceRiter Antooo....

cerita 1

kisah ini berlaku hampir di semua sekolah asrama.baik lelaki mahupun perempuan.aku telah menemuramah beberapa orang yang "bertuah" yang ceritanya hampir serupa lalu ku kumpulkan disini untuk renungan semua.

untuk membolehkan pembayangan yang lebih visualistik, hendaklah diketahui bahawa setiap dorm disusun (maksud aku almari dan katil) dengan teratur untuk memberi satu ruang harian yang kondusif untuk setiap pelajar.iaitu almari2 biasanya disusun begitu jua dengan katil biasenyer doubledecker pon sebaris (aku penah melawat asrama adek aku) .

contoh dorm (katil patutnyer 2 tingakat,tapi ni jer gambo yg aku jumper)

seperti biasa, kejadian ini berlaku pada waktu malam tatkala semua pelajar masuk tidur.lampu dorm ditutup.susasana yang terang tadi menjadi gelap.hanya kedengaran bunyi kipas berputar dan cengkerik sahut menyahut.kalau bertuah terdengar plak bunyik anjing menyalak. auuwww!!.menurut sumber cerita ini diperolehi, kira2 pukul 2-3 pagi camtu, dia tersedar dan cuba memperbetulkan postur tidurnya yang kurang selesa.saat itu jualah dia terdengar suara perempuan tua mengira sambil ketawa

"satu dah bangun...nenek nampak..heeeee~~..cucu jangan pura2 tidur...heee~~~dua dah bangun...tiga dah bangun...heeeee~~~

dalam kesamaran malam itu,dengan perasaan takut nak mampos menyelubungi, dia ternampak bayang seorang manusia tua sedang duduk di atas almari sambil menghadap katil2 doubledecker
tempat dimana semua pelajar2 dorm tersebut tidur (memandangkan dia tidur di katil bahagian atas,ketinggian antara almari itu hampir separas dengan tempat tidurnya) .dia tau ada antara rakannya yg turut terjaga,tapi pada ketika itu terasa dirinya keseorangan.nak menjerit tak terkeluar plak suara.lagikan nak berlari keluar.sambil menarik selimutnya,takut yang amat sangat,dia cuba memejamkan matanye serapat-rapatnya berharap supaya cepat siang...sementara..nenek tersebut masih mengira sambil ketawa...

"satu,dua,tiga dah bangunnnnnnnnn......heeeeee~~~~~"

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cerita 2

kisah ini terjadi kepada pakcik aku sendiri.ianya telah lama berlaku tapi aku ingat sampai sekarang sebab time aku dengar citer ni aku kecik lagi.tapi aku punya takot rasa lagi smpai skarang.

mengikut cerita yang disampaikan ketika itu, pakcik aku dalam perjalanan balik ke rumahnya iaitu di muar,johor.pakcik aku nih memang terkenal dgn kaki pecutnya.kalo bawak keter tak cecah 160km/j memang tak sah.nak dijadikan cerita,ketika tu dia dah sampai tol tangkak.jam dah nunjuk hampir pukul 12 malam.kalo korang pernah lalu jalan yang betol2 selepas tol tangkak yg menghala ke muar korang mesti perasan kat situ banyak nak mampos pokok getah,berekar2 aku rase..setiap kali aku balik kampong mestii lalu jalan tuh.time tuh baru first time aku tau bau bau busuk kat tempat tu datang dari getah sekerap.back to the story,jalan kat ctu gelap nak mampos,cuma kadang2 jalan diterangi lampu kereta yang lalu lalang.tu pon jarang2..(dulu la nih).jadik kener pakai high beam.

pakcik aku dah tak bley blah,ngatok giler.dia pon pecut kat ctu.seperti biase,usya kena baek punya..cek blakang orait.side mirror kiri clear.time dia nak check side mirror kanan dengan tidak semena-mena dia ternampak ade seorang tua berlari sambil memegang keretanya.menurut pakcik aku, tatkala dia terpandang pakcik tua tu,pakcik tua tu senyum sinis kat dia. (aper kejadah orang tua dah lebih separuh abad berlari sama laju dengan kereta yg dipandu menghampiri 160km/j).pucat lesi pakcik aku time tuh.cam biase,nak jerit tak kluar..so nak buat ape lagi.tanpa membuang masa pakcik aku terus memecut keretanya tanpa menoleh langsung cermin sisi nya,hinggalah dia sampai ke rumah dia.masuk je rumah, dia terus masuk bilik tidur.makcik aku tanya haram dia tak jawab.esok nyer dia demam panas 2 hari..


p/s: aku bukan peminat hantu tua!!

*************************************************************************************


cerita 3

kejadian ni pon berlaku lama dulu.
kami sekeluarga termasukla sedara mara,sepupu sepapat,ipar duai,atok nenek telah mengadakan percutian beramai2 di suatu tempat di PD.aku tak ingat tempatnya.disebabkan bilangan ahli kelorga yang ramai,kami telah menyewa sebuah banglo 2 tingkat bagi memuatkan semua orang (tp tu pon tak muat jugak).

malam itu selepas makan malam, kami pon memulakan aktiviti bebas masing2.kumpulan mak2 berborak2 tak habis.bapak2 tengok tv.anak2 kecik main masak2 sesama diorang.aku yg ketika tu sedang meningkat remaja, memilih untuk bermain SAIDINA bersama sepupu2 aku yang lebih kurang baya2 aku time tuh.hampir 8 orang jugakla yang maen.sape yg penah maen SAIDINA, mesti tau, bender ni kalau tak habis lebih 1 jam mesti tak sah.hampir tengah malam jugakla kitorang maen.

dalam ramai2 tu, ader seorang sepupu lelaki aku ni(lagi tua dari aku),telah keluar dari keriuhan itu untuk menhisap rokok di beranda sesambil hirup udara segar.kebetulan time tuh, banglo tempat kitorang duduk tu betul2 bertentangan dengan hutan.tapi dah ader pokok2 yg telah ditebang.maybe nak tambah resort lagi kot.jarak antara hutan tersebut dengan banglo kami hanya dipisahkan dengan sebatang jalan yang luasnya hampir 15 kaki.berbalik kepada cerita semula,sedang2 dia hisap rokok tu, tiba2 dia masok balik dalam rumah dengan muka pucat lesi dan gabra semacam.dia terus masok bilik.

semua antara kami sedar akan perubahan itu.permainan kami terganggu sebentar.makcik aku yang merupakan ibu kepada sepupu aku tadi terus memasuki bilik itu untuk bertanya apa yang berlaku.sebentar kemudian sepupu aku yg merupakan antara pemain utama SAIDINA juga disuruh masuk.kejap lagi atok aku pulak disuruh masuk.perghhh...saspenn..

tiba2 mereka kluar.keadaan dah tak meriah macam tadi.sepupu aku dah taknak maen SAIDINA lagi.tambahan kami semua disuruh masuk tido.ADEHHH...kacau betul.tapi aku tau ader yg tak kena.aku try intai bilik sepupu lelaki aku tadi.aku nampak dia tengah berselubung.sambil makcik aku ader kat sebelah.PELIKK

esoknya kami checkout.aku masih tak tau cerita sebenar.tapi sebelom kami sekeluarga bergerak pulang,mak aku tunjuk something dekat hutan seberang jalan banglo yg kitorang duduk tuh.sebatang pokok yang tidak lagi berdaun yang besarnya sebesar pemeluk org dewasa.betul2 kat tepi jalan berhadapan dengan banglo kitorang.mak aku cakap

"kat situla si shahril nampak benda tu"..

aku konpius..mak aku pon bukak citer.menurut mak aku malam tu, sepupu aku keluar kat beranda nak isap rokok(betul2 kat depan pokok tak berdaun tuh).usya baek punya,sebab time tu mak dia taktau dia isap rokok.depan ok,kanan ok,kiri pon ok.dia pon nyalakan baek punyer rokok dier tuh..hisap..hembus..hembus..hisap.toleh kiri kanan.tiba2 time dia menikmati udara malam tuh,dia nampak ader makhluk BERTENGGEK kat batang pokok yg betul2 depan mata dia tadi.makhluk tu serba putih,rambut panjang tengah dok pandang dia..

sebelum kami pulang,sempat aku amati jaraknya sekali lg,mmg tak jauh pun kedudukannya.......


************************************************************************************


cerita 4

kejadian ini berlaku ketika aku di matriks johor,tangkak.cerita ni aku dengar dari kawan aku.maybe korang penah dengar.tapi sajer aku nak kumpulkan cerita2 seram kat sini.

ketika di matriks,satu bilik ditempatkan seramai 4 org pelajar.memandangkan bagi aku matriks aderla tempat paling stress bagi aku,semua org tak abes2 blajo...aku menghadapi culture shock sebentar.nak dijadikan citer,time tuh minggu exam dah nak dekat.org kata time mcam nilah banyak benda mengaco.menurut kawan aku nih, dia ader sorang kawan ni yang memang giler study malam.stay up sampai ke pagi.

satu hari tu,cam biasa,dia bljar lewat malam.kawan2 sebiliknyer dah selamat dibuai mimpi.plannyer nak sampai pagi.kononnyer time tu yang paling tenang dan sunyi.bace bole masok sket.tengah2 dia khusyuk study,tiba-tiba biliknya diketuk..."tok..tok...tok"

dia tengok jam,katanya dalam pukul 2 pagi ke atas.dalam hati dia dah berkata..

"sapa plak la yang ketuk memalam buter ni".dia pun bersuara

"siapa tu??"

suara di luar pun menjawab,

"orang sebelah"

dengan hati yang lega tanpa mengesyaki apa2 dia trus berlari ke pintu.sebab rakannya di bilik sebelah rajin jugak datang bertandang ke bilik dia.kadang2 nak makan sama la,nak tanya soklan la..dia bukak pintu perlahan-lahan takut menggangu rakan2nya yg sedang tidur.

tapi malangnya,yang berada di depannya ketika itu bukanlah rakannya dari bilik SEBELAH.tetapi satu makhluk yang betul2 mempunyai SEBELAH badannya sahaja (simetrinyer).sambil tersenyum dengan mulutnya yang juga SEBELAH...

dengar cerita,budak tu dijumpai oleh rakan2 sebiliknya pengsan di hadapan pintu biliknya pada esok paginya...

to be continued....

*************************************************************************************

TeKe-TEkiK..

Teke-tekik ni telah diutarakan oleh adek aku petang tadi tatkala aku dengan gumbiranyer memasak spaghetti sebagai makanan tengahari kami adek beradek. Aku serender awal2 lagi sebab malas nak pikir.Bila tau jawapan dier...bangangnyerla rase..sebab aku tak pikir betol2..bunguk..

Ader 3 orang watak dalam ceriter nih iaitu si pembunuh, si peguam dan si hakim. Si pembunuh tersebut telah disabitkan kesalahan membunuh rakan sekerjanya yang cuba mengurat bininya.kes ini telah dihadapkan di mahkamah dengan harapan keadilan dapat dilaksanakan. Nak dijadikkan cerita, ayah kepada si pembunuh adalah si peguam yang mewakili si tertuduh bagi mendapatkan keadilan untuk si pembunuh. Manakala, anak kepada si hakim adalah si tertuduh (si pembunuh).tapi kebenaran ini tidak diketahui oleh ketiga3 mereka ini iaitu si pembunuh,si peguam mahupun si hakim.

persoalannyer sekarang apakah hubungan antara si hakim dan si peguam...???

A pHASe oF liFE...

i have juz another 1 semester (6 months) to go and im thru..woahahahhaa
ill soon enrolled as a master of science chemistry student in upm after 2 years
of deadly struggling juz to finish on time (hopefully).i wud never want to
extend anymore longer of my study and somehow i juz had enough..
for now i presumed..and yes..i am a chemist wannabe..

I still remember the day when i decided to further my study up to this level,
while others of my frend were all eager to find job and earn some money.
contrary to that, i,myself was really damn sure, that i was not ready to get any
and i dont like to just sitting at home doing f**king nothing either.which then i
decided to pursue my study the moment i finished my undergraduate.
i was not sure weather i was "blessed" or "belessed twice", somehow i got
an offer from my former undergrad supervisor to do a research under her and
the project given more or less quite the same as my final undergrad project and
needless to say,kena study lagi detail la(master doww)..

At that time, i was so certain that is what i wanted to do.and i know i can do it.
i was so enthusiastic and passionate at first.I could still recall clearly, the
moment i entered the lab, i can feel the chill of excitation running through
my vein. As i touched my own spot just right there at the edge of the bench,
the smell of chemicals, the glassware, the labcoat and everything seemed very
close to me (im bad at describing things methaporically). First thought, i just
knew it was a right decision to be made.This is where i should belong..at least for now..

I have to admit, the starting was quite a challenge to me. I was on my own.
and i know everybody does when it comes to this stage where u need to think
and manage stuff by yourself. No one wud tell u what to do and what not, what
and how to buy things like chemicals especially. Though people may help u and
give advices when u need one, at the end of the day, u are the one who'll be
fully responsible for whatever decisions u've made. Thing was pretty messed
up at first where at some point i felt exhausted and giving up. However,when
i looked back,and i realized it juz a phase of life, a difficult phase which each
of human being lived will be facing with before u finally find ur way to
happiness.Thus, im still holding on till today hoping that my hardwork will be
repaid someday.

Then,things started to went well, i adapted,new stuff,new environment,new
knowledges,everything that comes in package. The more i got involved
with this research life, the more i discovered that science is important and its
everywhere. All the theories and principles raised by the geniuse and brilliant
peeps back then,upon my realization of ignorance,they finally applied.
Eventually, the more i discover, the more i find how ignorant myself are.
How small,tiny and stupid i was to just not explore and experience god's
wonders in this world and yet brag so much about the little think Ive known.
From the smallest thing to the largest thing in the world. Its good to learn.
Well,to me, that is life all about. Life is a journey that acquires ourselves
to choose the color of our live to make it as wonderful and colorful as we
hope it could be. Each of the color has their own story to tell.and ive chose mine.

I know, the experiences ive gone through in life is not even a quater cater what
does life meant or defined.yet im far from it.too far.i get scared oftenly to just
thinking what may i become in future,and thats life.people do that all the time
which exactly what im feeling right now.scared,unconfident,eager,excited all
mix up in one.im scared because i have no idea what ill be confronting next
and afraid of drifting away.unconfident because i feel that myself is not well
occupied upon entering another phase of my life.eager because cant wait to
finish my studies and move on.excited because im hoping that everything
planned is going to be well and smooth.though it smtimes diverge but i always
pray for it still.

so for now, im in the stage of writing up where i finally managed to put a stop
on my research, summarized and compiled everything in one bloody
f**king hard cover book called THESIS. and i find it very difficult to focus on
compared while doing my labwork. thou it was tiring, but it is more virtual and
hands on. i seldom seldomly fallen asleep as compared during my writing up.
i sleep a lot.a lot..and most of the time i overslept. not that the fact i overslept
due to i write too much yet i barely started anything and it already chase away
my mood juz by looking at the words.all worrrrdddzzz typed on the screen of
my 15.4 inches screen dell lappie.argghhh..its been two months now ive been
leading this kind of life and the progress turns out to be neither overwhelming
nor impressive.its totally a waste and i definitely cant afford to waste my time
anymore right now as the submission need to be done on the early of january.
though im such a procrastinator,but this one would be disastrous ever if
getting done by the last minutes.but i juz couldnt help it.
bodo betol,demn,*&^%#$%>>#..

hmm..lets juz hope for the best.i really..i mean really really need to work
smthing out and put like my 271% efforts in it or else ill end up like the
f**king zombie..hair stands straight, red eyeballs about to pop out,
wrinkles and pimples,muntah darah and lotsa worst imaginary things
that i just dont have the nerve to state it here. so, as much as i hate to
prolong this miserable moment of mine, despite whining and complaining,
i must get it done, by hook or by crook. if not it will keep haunting me forever.

u evil maniac..get away from me!!

P/S:im currently under massive stress & depressed also...

SajER jEr...

feeling good right now becoz i actually think that i finally managed
to have started the first and foremost step of my thesis writing
i have finished it just now after about a month of keep delaying..

it was the TABLE OF CONTENT..muahahahhahhahahha....

u might say "kecoh ar beb"..
well..say whatever u gonna say...ADER AKU KESAH?? n BOLEBLAH..haha..
as if i couldnt care less..(sbb kemalasan yg dasyatt..tp berjaya jua..ohh).
it feels good like having a BIGMAC right now..

btw..still long way ahead..lotsa things need to be done..
yet being put aside..hopefully this one wud be the start..

adeh..banyak lagi kejer oiiii..1st jan kene submit progress.
tapi aku malas..im screwed..


p/s:selamat hari raya aidiladha...daku perlu tidur...

UP-SO-TEIRS....

this incident happened like few months ago when i was in a
conversation with a fren..we were busy discussing (projek kunun)
and suddenly this one foreigner guy..(he's from bangladesh)
barged in looking for this staff who was supposed to be
there at that time..

fren:bla..bla..bla..projek..bla..bla ..projek
bb:bla...bla..bla..bla..projek..projek..

the guy came in..

guy: where is MR.X? (looking at us)

looked around..and i said to him

bb:he's not here right now..maybe he's UPSOTEIRS..ooppps...
(UP-SO-TEIRS the TEIRS sounded just like pronouncing
the TAIRE from SOLITAIRE)

fren===>trying to control herself but about to burst out
guy===>blurr...then smiled

with embarassment still full in me.. i rephrased back the sentence

bb: what i meant was..maybe he's UPSTAIRS...why dont u try
look for him at the first floor...

guy:ooo...ok...thank u (smile and went away)

fren:wakakkakakkakakkakakkaakkakakkakakkakaka...

bb:kakkakakkakakkak....UP-SO-TEIRS...wakakkakaka.. (siot)

malunyerrrr aku.....

i went home..and told my family about the incident..of course
disertai degan mimik muka dan gaya ulang cakap yg tak boleblah..
as expected...ketawa yg melampo....muahhahahhahah...

..sounds funny juz by saying it...try la..becoz u'll find that u'd be
stressing on the sukukata SO.. (ala2 jawa gitu)


p/s: if only i would have record that moment...hahhahaha

aN eVEniNG....

So u know, i had the most boring evening..
keep wondering around,sit here and there,
bullying my small sis and bro,watching tv,
sweeping floor,babling and what more i just couldnt recall..

hoping that the clock ticking faster,
i was trying to figure out what else i could do to kill time
not that i have so much spare time and dont have things to do..
yet i have loads of important things to be done..
writing thesis,journal reading,analyzing data..bla..blah..boleblah
juz not in the demn mood..lately,i spent most of the time
writing this blog rather than writing for my thesis instead...
(i so need to re-set my priority right..)

welll..that is not the real issue here..especially for now..
back to the point,i was so demn bored..
so i decided to do some surfing thru the internet
(thou i did this one earlier..yg ke berapa kali..aku tak tau)
with the hope i might discover something interesting...again..

first,as usual,i clicked on the friendster,facebook,myspace
and those unnecessary websites
viewed new updates, some people's profiles, pictures and
forget not..yawning..aiiihhh..done all that..
so what else??..boredome really drives me crazy..

this surfing thingy started to strip away my mood..getting
worst every minute..till i came across one blog,
which had successfully drawn my attention..

it was a blog that i enjoyed the most reading the contents of it..
at least for now (as im new to this blogging thingy)..
thou it kinda simple,but the blogger manage to deliver what he
wanted to say,what he gone through or experienced in the most
simplest way of words arranged yet it grab..the flow of the
story written was easily understood..the english was good..
plus a lot of pictures attached too..making it more funnier
and imaginable ..hahhahahha.. some of the stories were hillarious
as i was laughing like hell..(yg ni yang aku paling suker..)

i went through most of the content till my head has been
attacked by so called dizziness...maybe due to the prolong
"ngadap laptop"...benci!!..makes me feels like puking..
my back started to ache..i guess these are the signs for me..
yeah...yeah..so i stopped..but before that,
i managed to make a link to this blog...
guess maybe i wud one to read some of the updates made
some other time,it will be easier for me next time then..

as my killing time turned out to be quite well,
i am now signing off with this feeling of ease thinking
that my evening was not that bad thou..

hahhaahahhah....


p/s: many thanks and credit to the blog thou..hahhahahhahaha

CHildhOOd REmiNIScencE....

i was going through some of the old albums..
the only thing i find myself in the mood of doing
so after being left home where in a world i should
be rite now is in UPM..

my mind started to flash back seeking for the details
for every photo taken..,i could remember the life
back then, most of it easily..compared to life im
having right now..everything seems so easy..
the immature faces,the smile,the laughter..
everything.........

i still recall,back then when i was in primary school..
year 1991-1997...really went through the most hectic life..
i presumed..and yet no complain...

i was juz a 7 years old happy girl living in shah alam..
i had my standard 1 registered at the school nearby..
before i got transferred to another school in kl..
due to less quality time spent together..(based on my parents)
so decided to move all of us (siblings)..

but i wud say,it was quite a wise decision..
since i had the most enjoyable moment in my life in that school..
SEKOLAH KEBANGSAAN SULTAN HISAMUDDIN ALAM SHAH..
the school i wont ever forget..situated just in front
of bank negara, it has become a second shelter for me
besides home..happening frendz, awesome teachers,old version
of classroom, pokok saga belakang sekolah, maen zeropoint,
ngurat mengurat,tulisan cantek,goton royon,maen longkang..etc
not to forget,the canteen (kak besar yg pandai buat air..perghh)..
they were all now gonna be the best memorable moments ever..

we struggled waking up every morning juz to rush out
from home to school..yet we always kept on coming late..
it took us about 45mins to reach on time..and that if and
only if we left home at 6am or earlier..or else caught in the traffic...
nevertheless, the traffic and the late has become a routine..which
i hardly count how many times we were late..7.45 am and later
everyday was quite a record..dowh...

how i remembered to que in line for so called the-late-comers..
especially during assembly and got name taken,kena denda...suckss!
owwwhhh...believe me..i had it numerous time..
and the worst part is,i was a prefect back then..and the one who
had my name written was happened to be a fren of mine..
maluuuuunyeeerrrrr aku..time tuh...mmg tak boleblah..
brapa kali kena sindir aku dah tak larat ingat...
sampai naek bebal...adehh..

and not to mention, besides coming late to school,
we also went home late..the best record of all was at 11 pm..
(kakak2 canteen yg rajen temankan kitorang)..
my mom was demn busy at that time and tend to forget to
pick us up..(this usually happened when my father was
not around==>outstation). the life was pretty upside down..
time spent at home was not as much as time spent outside..
we often slept in the car, ate at the stall, seldomly play at the
playground and always got home very late..
i meant veryyyyy late...

we were tired like hell..and imagine how we could still
managed to lived with all that for years..
i wonder, when did i find myself doing all the homework..
hmmm...im impressed

despite all that, everything was ok..and i considered myself
a gud prefect...am i??...i guesss...(mati kena kutuk)
thou it was giler hectic and tiring..at least i got something to
remember about...i still think i'd lived the life to the fullest
during that time...well...maybe i was jus a child..ikot ajer..
sogok aper pon suker..kalo komplen sepak ajer..

i led that kind of life for almost 6 years..
and cannot stand anymore...i had enough and decided
to change school..nearer to home..and yes..it was damn near..
which i took it for granted..
only 10mins of walking to the school..yet i still late..
the school starts at 7.30am..woke up at 7.00am
(pas solat subuh tdo balek) shower and put on the uniform
and everything must be ready by 7.15am..
and walked (smua pon nyaris2 jer)...hahahhah

again..everything was fine...
jus a past which made what i ve become today..
well..enough missing of the good old days..
lets welcome the future and cherish the good past..
left the bad behind..

im through writing for the day...adeh


p/s: regards to all SKSHAS teachers..(ckg norzita,sir sandra,
sir kumar,ckg ramli,ckg wan sahar,ckg chong,uztaz khairul anwar..
the list going on)

ivE comE To aN eND...

finally..

ive come to an end..
yet there is so much things to do
which is not my desire to do so

ive come to an end..
yet there is so much things to think off
which none of it seems reasonable

ive come to an end
yet there is so much things to fight for
which to my sense im helpless

ive come to an end
yet there is so much things to talk about
which i find none would listen to me

ive come to an end
yet i find myself holding on
yet i find myself have no one other than HIM
no one i could rely on..other than HIM
no one i have faith the most..other than HIM
the one who listens to me...when im in need..
whom signifies me precisely..
whom im nobody without HIM

YA ALLAH...IM HELPLESS WITHOUT YOU


p/s:it was a 5 mins self refining..juz amazing how it flows
smoothly out of my mind

iF gLObal TemPERATure INCreasEs...

bought some stuffs from guardian just now..
money flows again..
this one was not what i consider a money waste..
sooner or later..i still need to purchase it thou
juz a daily stuffs anyway...which cost me rm133.90
while for now...they remain as a stock..
resting peacefully on the rack..

so, since the purchase was more then rm100
GUARDIAN gave out some free coupons saying
"save more with guardian coupon" which i find not
quite an intriguing to mE..juz another usual stuffs..
hair gel,lotion,vitamin..bla..bla..boleblah

apart from the coupons, atttached together
is the 2009 calendar..
but the one which drawn my attention more,despite
the typical calendar it stated also some global info
that i would find interesting and wanted to share
with u guys here..

IF GLOBAL TEMPERATURE INCREASES...

if global temperature increases..extreme
whether events such as floods, droughts n
tropical stormswill become more frequent
and dangerous..(january)

if global temperature increases..sea level could
rise by 18 to 59 cm, low lying states inhabitated
by millions of people..(february)

if global temperature increases..large areas of
rainforest could due to significant of rainfall..
(march)

if global temperature increases..salt from rising
sea levels may contaminate fresh water supplies.up
to 3 billion more people could suffer increated
water shortages by 2008..(april)


if global temperature increases..geographical
migration can result in the increase of diseases
such as malaria and dengue fever..(may)


if global temperature increases..plant and animal
species which are unable to adaptquickly will be
threatened by extinction..(june)


as for july, august,september,october,november
and december it switchs to

THINGS U CAN DO TO REDUCE GLOBAL WARMING..

i wud say that most of the do's..are quite
familiar to us..such as

...conserve water

...drive less n drive smart

...plant a tree

...lead an energy-efficient lifestyle

...reduce,reuse,recycle

...encourage others to conserve


however...i still think..
less attention neither effort given especially
in implementing it..

...sad but its true thou..


p/s: until it hit us completely off guard,there is no point
of looking back as regret will be full in us

THe JouRNEy...

From where I started to where I am today
The journey has been long & tiring
from nothing to some thing I am today
It’s not been an easy journey.

Tried with luck; Tried with hard work
Tried with destiny too
But nothing worked for me.
It’s not been an easy journey.

Found love but lost love too
Found friends but lost them too
Found money, even lost that one too
But the journey continued

Today I stand facing the world
It’s beckoning me to start all over again
While I miss my love
With whom I could start the journey again

I called up my love to join me again
In the journey of life that never concludes
Loser! ! She called me
The lesson of journey never concludes.

I want to move on without my love
Even without my friends & money
As life moves on; I move on with it
To a journey that never concludes

Walking alone on this path
With guts and determination
I want to continue the journey again
A journey where people would remember me
As the man who won million hearts

by Vijay Sherigar

p/s: each of us has almost the same need, but the journey in fulfilling the need might be different

Money wAsTE....

went to alamanda just now..
just to prevent myself from falling asleep again..
since ive been sleeping like ages,today..
so i dont really have the specific objective of going there..


walking alone there by myself is definitely not
the best thing to do...so, i juz called out my sister
for the companion..

"weh...ko nak ikot tak..aku nak g alamanda nih"

she agreed and 10mins later we've arrived at alamanda..
i parked the car and we walked...

i decided to withdrawn some money from the atm...
as i know i will be buying something(surely)..
the first atm, the que was too long and i was not
really in the mood to que...so we went to the second atm,
which is quite far from the first one..
well at least, i get to see around and did some window
shopping hoping that i might find something interesting..


yes..ive found one...
as i was passing the GOOGLES store, the GOOGLE cardigan
sweaters has successfully captured my eyes...
i was like "wah"..and kinda reminding myself to get one
of that for myself after this...

but no money yet...haih..
not many peeps around, i guess maybe today is a weekday..
the first day of working for the week..they might
get tired and prefer staying at home..
so,less crowded..good for me..muhahaha


from far, i can see the 2nd atm is being used
by one lady only...no que...great..
with the feeling of joy and happinest...
ive withdrawn almost rm500..with my mind already
calculating what to do with the money..

so,the money is already in my hand...hahhahha
on the way back to the GOOGLES..
i stopped by at the HOL (house of leather)to find
a wallet for me..(my previous wallet was also from HOL,
before it got stolen..demn)

well...there is not much of new design i could see...
but i kinda desperately need the wallet...
since, i was there...i really need to get one of those..
so, i chose one..like it..cost me almost rm80,after 20% discount.
juz one defect of it..no place to put the coins..adeh



second destination wud be the GOOGLES..muahhahahah
i got inside the store and asked the lady where
can i find the cardigan like the one being displayed outside..
ah ha...she showed me..juz my luck, only 2 more left..
i put it on..and posed in front of the mirror..perfect..

check the price...rm 89.90...pergggghhhh....GILERRR..
(monologing==>baju bodo camni pon harga macam
nak mamposss)..adehhhhh..suddenly, i remembered
my mom saying...its better to regret buying
than to regret of not buying)...

adehh..aku bayar pejam mata jerr..tak rela..tapi teringin.




we had our dinner at McD..before drove back home..

there...almost rm 200 spent for only one nite...
with just a glance within not more than an hour..
totally bad for me..ive had worst than this..since this
was happened juz now..i wud love to jot it here,
in this blog..(reminder la kononnn)


p/s: this type of a lifestyle is too costly for me..

tHe FAtheR saYS....

this HOw the story goes...

juz This evening,we (me and my fams) went
to my cousin's wedding in kl....
hmmm...i wud put it this way...not actually a wedding yet...
as the wedding is tomorrow...this one i wud say as part of the
preparation for the wedding..like malay says.."malam berinai"...
so, the reason we're going is that just to show the courtesy
and pay some respects to the family thru helping out by lending
our hands for the preparation..(where people used to do back
then during this type of ocassion)plus we are the nearest
relative who lives nearby (most of the realativesare from jb)..

so, off we go to segambut, kl..
on our way there, i in a first place did not know
what will be the "aturcara" of the day (this one was before i
knew that tonite is only the "berinai" session) .
according to my father,the nikah ceremony will be held tonight..
as to honour the night, we were FORCED to wear baju kurung..

after leaving the house a few miles away..
we decided to call our "makngah" just to make a comfirmation
about the "atucara"..

to my surprise,the nikah ceremony will be held tomorrow
morning instead of tonight......adehhhh...

so why in the world, are we wearing baju kurung...
as i foresee that we'll only be washing the dishes as what
we always did before as to help out...i wud rather
prefer more casual attire..t-shirt and jeans maybe..

arhhh...sudahhhh...

me and my sisters looked at each other with the look
of dissatisfaction..and i on behalf of them, brave enough
speak in anger to my father to return back home just for
the sake to change our clothes to more "appropriate" one..

well,it was just another average spontaneous strategy that
i could think off at that time which i wanted to convey
to my father...and deep in my heart i just knew
that it isn't working out...what a waste...muahahhahhaha...

we were in despair at that particular moment, until the
father slowly open his mouth saying things that made us
stumbled and speechless for the very first time...he said...

"abah suka tengok anak2 abah pakai baju kurung...manis jerrr...
sopan, sedap mata memandang...kalo selalu pakai macam ni
kan bagos..apa salahnyer pakai baju kurung..
lagipon kan nak jumpa atok"

for a few seconds...we looked at each other again...
but now we smiled..it sounded so sincere AND it touches
our hearts.. i guess...it was so softly spoken..
as we would take that as compliments..and suddenly all
the "despairness" about the baju kurung went away...
(muhahahha...baju kurung pon jadi isu)

it is not everyday that u used to hear that kind of saying
from ur father...well at least for me...
i wud wear the baju kurung everyday if that could pleased
my very own father..rather than pleasing others..
what else can he ask more...and what MORE can i complaint....


AS HE THE ONLY FATHER IN THE WORLD I EVER HAD....

MY BELOVED...OUR BELOVED ...

P/S: neither a good child nor obedient, im definitely
not one of them

BLOgging..

well HEY world..
im KINda new IN this BLOgging THings...
hahhahah...doNT have a cLUe...aS whAt has GOt INTo Me to starT UP wit the so called bLOGGING..
As im the LAZIesssttt pERSON on earth and HARDly tO haVE passioN in ANYthing...ahakzz..

so whAT CAn i saY morE..
is JUSt..ill DO My BEST...AND maKEit INteresting AS i HOpe it WUd be..
MAlay says.."sila beRI tunJUK AJar...kalo TAKNAK sudahh....and IM open tO Any commenT...

ADEHH...got TO go...
I HAVE not mandi yet...as now IS already 3.pm..


p/s: i TOLD yOU so...I AM a lazy perSON

deFIne Me....

....dEfiNE mE as I'm ThE blISSful huMan oN eArtH WhOSe sTill LookING fOr tHe REal Me in THIs wORld fuLL Of UnceRTAintIES anD ObsessION...

.....defINe Me aS Im The ONe whoSE faR fROm peRFEct...aS iM juZ anOTher BlooDY humaN BEinG...

....DefinE mE aS Im NOboDY...IN thE EYes oF thE migHTY crEATor....

aNd.....DEfinE ME...

........DefINE Me...

........defiNE mE...

.......iT taKES MORe thaN whAt U caN UNdersTaND...iTS beYOND woRDS....

...deAR ALLAH...pleASE givE me THe guiDANCE ANd tHE sTRong wILL in FIndinG N plACing U hERe in THIs Sinful HEart anD MinD...